hehehe i went to the snow today with family. 1st time ethan went to snow, he was overjoyed :)
on the way back though, i started to reflect on the last year of my life. it's gone by amazingly quick. i've cried a bit cos it's so demanding. i have become the architect of my own life, which is a great thing; however, success does not come without struggle. I know there is suffering greater than mine in the world, but being self effacing and ignoring my struggles would just undermine my dignity and self esteem.
i'm starting to evaluate what i need in my life at the moment. Mick Jagger once said: 'You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you'll get what you need'. I have been pretty blessed with life so far, with family and friends at the vanguard of what i stand for. i think this is what i need at this stage of the game.
i've become more confused as to what music i want to play when i'm older :P all i know is that i want to create something that's mine, and that i can share with the whole world.
i'm also beginning to see more the 'give and take' nature of relationships, and it is when i explore this avenue, that my social insecurities haunt me.
it's ok that people depend upon me for emotional support; however, there is a limit, and i feel that i need more people who i can depend on equally as they do me. That might seem very selfish, but that's how i feel. The mutualism of relationships stabilises the human condition, and i guess, these last few years, there have been very few people with whom i can confide to and seek equal support.
formal's coming up in a week. so it's time to get excited :) still deciding whether to renounce straight edge for the night.
i hope anybody who's reading has realised that i've adopted a pensive tone in this article rather than full-on emo rahrah. i'm just realigning my social bearings, that's all.
i probably shouldn't be venting too much to avoid cyberstalkers
adios everyone, have a lovely week :)
No comments:
Post a Comment