to all the russian ladies and the u.s knife clubs :)

hello everybody from all around the world
i was checking my traffic sources lately, and it traced back to a few interesting websites
one being a russian search engine; i wonder who typed in 'and i don't mean teenage lust' into yandex and then bother to check my entry on the fourth page. hmmm. hope it's a lady :)
and another source was a u.s knife club that educates americans how to use knives effectively. now if the guy who educates them (hank i think?) is reading, i must say, your club is pretty hardcore. keep up the good work man :)

whatever it is, we meet interesting people along the walk of life. and isn't it funny how one name can disseminate across three or four continents without us noticing?
so ponder on your actions this week. i know it's a really unenjoyable holiday period for most people, but think on how you want the world to see you, and how much dignity and esteem you hold as a person.
'your character is what you are when no one is looking'

have fun, stay low, chillax
justin

enjoying what is here

i love a good old ballad
it soothes the soul, and fills that void in your heart
it moves you along in the knowledge that every dog has its day, and that your time will come soon
it makes you cherish that life is ok, and acknolwedges that happihess is not truly reached unless you acknowledge you are living your life just the way you want to.

over these last few weeks i have come to realise that i have a blessed childhood, which i wouldn't trade for. it has instilled within me the desire for poverty, for humility of spirit.
i have epiphanies sometimes, where i breathe the salubrious air of my surrounds, glance upon the sunlight that cleaves through the green trees. i tear leaves and smell them.
the chlorophyll seeps through my nostrils, and i feel a visceral peace with every landscape. this is how i get high on life. i am very easily pleased.

i hope everybody takes time to acknowledge that life is beautiful. see life in technicolor, and not black and white.
and should your life become instable and defragment before your eyes, breathe deeply. you could take a dose of perspective. but more importantly, value yourself and know that you are in control of everything you do. it's your life, you have control, enjoy the control :)

love you
justin

i want you, i need you, but i can't have you now.

hello everyone

i pray that everyone finds time to nourish themselves, and believe in who they are, who they're with, and why they are here on this earth. Whenever I revisit self purpose, I am reinvigorated and energised, and it is the only reason I wake up in the morning. Believing in what's behind me, what's before me, and what's happening to me, and the people of my life, is the only reason I'm not surrendering, and dropping out of school tomorrow.

We surge forward, a tide that acts as one. We face seas of adversity, which attempts to engulf and supercede our consciences. These next few months will be quick; however, pressures will envelope in and out our mind, body and soul.

I must say I've been feeling the heat of school, and I am sick of being propounded by unnecessary pressures. These have brought to light what is absent in my life, which seeks to threaten my everyday confidence.

Yes. Let's revert to something men talk about at face value, but cannot recognise and organise at its deepest recesses. GIRLS!!! I feel torn that I can't share myself with a girl, and I don't mean teenage lust bullshit that you find in any joeblow relationship, I want the real thing where I can display my affections to another girl, and understand them, caress them, complement them.

But I can't act upon impetuous desire now, for they are nascent and unjustified. Let's ride on to the night, man up, and know that in the future, girls will come when they come.

When you go to bed every single night, reassess your day.
1) Are you exhausted?
2) Have you done what you've wanted to achieve today?
3) Physically and mentally, was there anything you could have achieved but didn't today?

These questions dictate the last seconds of my day. Similar questions are asked when I wake up, ie "What do you want to achieve today etc.?" and "are you enjoying your life?"

if i respond negatively to the latter, I sleep in :P

it's tough. but hang in there. Light is within us, and light is before us.

Justin